The Importance of Self-Care for Mentors
In this chapter, you will learn the basics of the following:
Importance of self-care for Mentors
Strategies for managing stress and preventing burnout
Establishing boundaries and seeking support when needed
Introduction to Empathy Exhaustion and Vicarious Traumatization and Support for Mentors is available here.
INTRO
This chapter opens with a video introducing why self-care is essential for mentors. Supporting others can be emotionally and mentally demanding, and prioritising your own well-being is key to maintaining resilience and effectiveness. As you watch, reflect on the importance of self-care and consider how it could impact your work with others.
Importance of self-care of the mentor – video.mp4
Self-Care and the Mentor's Well-Being
A mentor's work with refugees can be very fulfilling and meaningful.
At the same time, it can also be mentally and emotionally taxing.
Refugees may share their tragic experiences and difficulties in adapting to a new environment, which can cause concern, compassion stress, and burnout in the mentor.
It is therefore very important that mentors are aware of the possible mental burden of the work, take care of their own well-being, set limits on their activities, and know how to ask for help when necessary.
The Importance of Self-Care for Mentors
It is important for mentors working with refugees to pay attention to their own well-being. Responsible helping also means maintaining your own health and well-being. Supporting others in difficult situations and own traumatic experiences can affect one's ability to cope, and helping work can be both physically and mentally exhausting. Helping people in need is not easy, and Helpers can feel guilty, sad and frustrated if they feel they cannot do enough.
This is why it is important that Helpers recognize their own limits and seek help if necessary. Nurturing one's own well-being is not only for the helpers' own benefit, but it allows them to offer refugees more effective and sustainable and long-term support. By taking care of themselves, mentors also act as an example of how important it is to take care of yourself.
In this section, you will learn:
how helping work affects your own ability to cope
why you should take care of your own well-being
methods you can use to take care of your own well-being
practical tips on how to recognize emotions in the body and how to calm the body and mind
How Can Helping Work Affect the Mentor’s Ability to Cope?
Helping is rewarding in many ways.
The work is meaningful, unique, touching, and fulfilling.
Through this work, the mentor sees the enormous resources and coping skills of their mentees. Many refugees have survived incredible challenges and hardships, and their stories are full of hope and resilience. When these survival skills become visible, the mentor can also experience significant inspiration and empowerment.
When the mentee's strengths come to the fore, the mentor may also experience an increase in strength. This is called vicarious resilience. Vicarious resilience supports one's ability to work and overall well-being.
A mentor not only helps their mentees but also learns from them. This mutual learning strengthens vicarious resilience. Both parties gain new perspectives and understanding of the human ability to survive. This enriches the lives of both and strengthens their professional skills.
In addition to the positive effects of helping work, it is important to be aware of the possible negative effects on one's own ability to cope if self-care is neglected.
In aid work with refugees, clients often have not only experienced many particularly traumatic events but also frequently live in uncertain and exceptional situations in the host country (e.g., shared accommodation in reception centers, uncertainty about their study and work situation, inability to plan for the future).
Client work may involve emotional burdens brought by clients, such as anxiety, anger, frustration, sadness, despair, and fear.
When constantly faced with the suffering of others without the opportunity to recover, one might feel the need to isolate from friends and loved ones. It may seem that others do not understand your situation. Ordinary sources of joy may lose their meaning, and the helper may become so immersed in helping others that their own life suffers. Basic needs such as sleep, rest, nutrition, important hobbies, and relationships may be neglected.
Neglecting one's own well-being, if continued for a long time, can lead to the helper becoming passive and cynical, eventually ceasing to take care of themselves. The boundaries between one's own life and the life of the person being helped can become blurred, and the helper's life can become overwhelmed with the concerns of the person being helped.
In some situations, the mentor may experience moral stress, trying to empathize with the mentee's experiences while also representing the host country and its service systems.
Social phenomena, the prevailing ethos, and political decision-making can also affect coping at work and increase compassion stress.
Additionally, unrealistic expectations regarding the mentor's work, especially from mentees who are unfamiliar with the host country's service system, may be exhausting.
It is therefore important for those engaged in helping work to identify and manage their own stressors, strengthen their resilience, and protect their ability to cope. If attention is not paid to this, the effects will first be seen in one's own well-being, then in one's ability to work, and eventually in clients and close circles. This can lead to depression, despair, cynicism, isolation, and physical and psychological symptoms.
Why is it Important for Mentors to Take Care of Themselves?
So why is it important for a mentor to take care of himself?
Below is a concise list of the reasons why it is good for a mentor to take care of their own well-being.
Well-being and coping
Working with refugees can be both physically and emotionally taxing. By caring for their health and well-being, the mentor ensures that he can support others. So by taking care of her own well-being, the mentor also takes care of the well-being of those he helps.
Professionalism
When a mentor is well, they can focus better and offer better quality support and help. Your well-being also affects your ability to solve problems and deal with challenges.
Prevention
By taking care of himself, the mentor can prevent stress, exhaustion, and other health problems arising from long-term or stressful work.
Emotional regulation
A well-being mentor can control their own emotions better and be empathetic and patient with the needs of others.
Being an example
A mentor can act as an example of how important it is to take care of oneself, and in this way encourage others to take care of their own well-being as well.
Continuity of own activity
By taking care of himself, the mentor ensures that he can continue working with refugees in the long term without burnout.
Safety
Fatigue or feeling unwell can affect a mentor's ability to make sound decisions and maintain a safe environment for themselves and others.
How Can Mentors Take Care of Themselves?
In order to be able to offer help to others, it is important for a mentor to learn to take care of himself as well. This includes:
Identifying and maintaining your own boundaries: Keep clear boundaries between work and free time (more on the topic in "Establishing boundaries and seeking support when needed"). Make time for yourself, your family and friends. This helps keep work matters off your mind.
Regular rest and relaxation: Ensure adequate sleep and engage in relaxing activities.
Relaxation treats the mind and body in many different ways. It reduces tension in the body and enhances the recovery of resources. Sleep quality improves, metabolism calms down, and general health and performance improve. Relaxation can also ease temporarily stressful situations and sleep deprivation. Relaxation can be practiced (see Relaxation Exercise).
sleep-wake rhythm and sufficient night sleep are also very important. The need for sleep varies individually according to age, genetics, and activity, but 7-9 hours of sleep per day is generally recommended for adults. If your night's sleep is short, avoid drinking too much coffee or other caffeinated drinks. Too much caffeine can increase anxiety and impair your well-being.
3. Physical well-being: Eat healthily, exercise regularly, and avoid excessive alcohol consumption.
Exercise helps relieve anxiety and relieves its physical symptoms. Do you currently exercise enough? If you want to add exercise to your everyday life, make an exercise plan in your calendar.
Remember to choose pleasant forms of exercise that are easier to start. Exercise can also be useful exercise, picking berries or ball games with a friend. According to the recommendations, it is good to exercise at least 3 x 30 minutes a week. Even a small amount is better than nothing. The most important thing is to start!
Varied nutrition is important for maintaining health and good functioning. By eating healthy, you give your brain and body the energy it needs. Varied nutrition and good eating habits improve concentration, motivation, memory, and stress tolerance. In addition, regular meals help keep the daily rhythm in balance.
4. Dealing with emotions: Emotions are part of life, but they should not be suppressed or left at their mercy. Regulation of emotions helps to achieve a balance between reason and emotions.
Emotion regulation does not only mean dealing with distressing or dark emotions but also utilizing positive emotions. For example, relaxation or a good mood can be very useful in an exciting customer meeting.
Harmful means of regulation include overeating, not eating, drowning out emotions, and using intoxicants.
Writing, exercise, music, focusing on positive things, reading books, calling a friend, and taking deep breaths help regulate emotions. See exercise: Recognize the Sensations in Your Body.
If possible, talk about your experiences with colleagues or a professional. This helps to unpack the emotions and experiences related to the difficult situation.
5. Positive relationships: Maintain good and important relationships.
Positive relationships reduce stress and bring joy and strength. Talking about things, working together or just being present already helps.
Think about which people are important to you. Do you keep in touch with them enough? Even one friend is valuable, and family and relatives form important networks.
Do you miss new relationships? Even though forming new relationships can seem challenging, boldly get to know new people through, for example, studies, work, hobbies, communities, or clubs.
6. Self-reflection and training: Identify your own stressors and find ways to cope and manage stress.
What kind of survivor am I? The poster helps you think about your own ways of coping with life's worries, sorrows, or crises.
The idea is to provoke reflection on what kinds of coping methods you have in use and what kinds of methods you could perhaps still try or enhance. The more means of survival we have, the better we can cope with many kinds of problems and crises that come our way.
This way you can help others more effectively and avoid burnout.
How Can Mentors Take Better Care of Themselves?
When we prioritize our daily routines, sleep, rest, nutrition, physical activity, relationships, hobbies, and creative outlets, we also nurture our mental well-being.
This image can serve as a tool for reflecting on your weekly choices. Identify positive habits to continue and areas where adjustments might be beneficial. We'll delve deeper into this.
Our mental health can be visualized as a hand, with each finger representing different aspects of our daily life.
Thumb: Sleep and rest. Do you get enough sleep? Do you relax regularly?
Index finger: Nutrition. Do you eat balanced meals? Do you enjoy your food?
Middle finger: Relationships and emotions. Do you nurture your relationships? Do you manage your emotions well?
Ring finger: Movement. Do you engage in physical activity? Do you listen to your body's needs?
Little finger: Creativity and free time. Do you have time for hobbies or creative pursuits?
The palm represents our overall daily rhythm, including work, study, chores, and personal time. Our values, which underpin our choices, are symbolized by the wrist.
Reflect on the past few weeks. Raise each finger if you've mostly answered "yes" to the related questions, or fold it down if you've answered mostly "no." The number of fingers standing represents areas where you might want to focus your attention.
